I am guilty of throwing shade in an argument. I am waiting for you to slip up so I can come for you. Which I know is very unhealthy and not a beneficial way to resolve an issue and move forward by any means. So knowing this about myself, I decided to do some research on how to argue effectively. But the reality is arguments are a part of life everyone will get into an argument at some point in their life how you decide to handle that argument will set the tone for how things can be resolved. Some easy tips that I am actively trying to incorporate in my life are as follows:
- Never say things below the belt:
It is important to not say things below the belt that could intentionally hurt someone. One thing I always try to remember when I feel like I am about to say something that is below the belt is how will I make that person feel. People often don’t remember what you say to them, but they always remember how you made them feel.
- It’s OK to table the conversation and come back to it:
If things are getting too heated pause and take some time to cool off. It’s OK to take a break and pick up the conversation after you have had some time to think about what the other person has said and vice versa. Then come back to the conversation and go from there.
The majority of the time we do not LISTEN to what the other person is saying, we are just waiting for them to shut up so we can get our point across then after we say what we feel who cares the conversation should be over I win! Make sure you are listening to understand that individual, not listening to have a witty comeback.
- Always resolve the issue:
Make sure no matter what whether you agree to disagree or you come up with a compromise. That you resolve the issue. Resolving the issue allows you to leave it in that conversation and not use it against someone in the future. Put your ego to the side and come up with a resolution. Life is about compromise and finding the answers.
So in the future when you are in an argument take a deep breathe and make sure you are using these tips I promise you will be able to resolve the issue in a mature manner, and feel good about it. In the end, it’s all about progress and growth even with the small things in life.